Kimberly Williams-Paisley talks vocal cord surgery, dementia, 'Farmer Wants a Wife'
PLAIN TWP. − Actor and author Kimberly Williams-Paisley said she's now at ease telling the story of her late mother who suffered from a rare form of dementia. Standing on stage at a Stark Library event on Thursday, Williams-Paisley said that when her mom first started to battle signs of dementia, she didn't want anybody outside the family to know. Staying silent was the family rule. "We let secrecy take over so much that we didn't demand that she tell us what her wishes were for her care," the celebrity said. Known for her role in the "Father of the Bride" movies and in the long-running television show "According to Jim," Williams-Paisley ended up writing a New York Times bestselling book, "Where the Light Gets In" about what she learned from her mother's illness — what she calls "silver linings." Even then, she battled guilt because her late mother, Linda Williams, had never given her permission to go public with the ordeal.
Now she's at peace with the 2016 memoir because it's connecting with people and helping those who are dealing with the emotional toll of caring for a loved one with dementia. "I see the pain in their eyes," Williams-Paisley, who's married to country music superstar Brad Paisley, said of readers. "I think people just want a connection and knowing they're not alone because there were times when (my family) felt we were alone, and I think that resonates the most." And she believes her mom would support the book and her fundraising efforts on behalf of Alzheimer's disease. "I know that she fought for the things she cared about," Williams-Paisley said. "She was a fundraiser for the things she cared about. And I feel like my mom in her right mind would have told me to tell her story, and so I did, and I kept talking about it after she died in 2016."
Mom's influence on 'Father of the Bride'
The book also brought Williams-Paisley closer to her mom. "I feel like my mom and I are finally friends," she told those at First Christian Church, where the talk was held. Her mother's influence lives on through humor and a sense of adventure. Linda Williams also made a mark on her daughter's aspiring acting career. As a sophomore in college, Williams-Paisley auditioned for the 1991 comedy, "Father of the Bride." "I definitely think my mom is a big part of my go get 'em attitude," she said. "I kind of credit her for what made me decide to go on the audition for 'Father of the Bride.'" The popular movie franchise has diehard fans, including some of those who attended Thursday's presentation. Kim Compson, 51, of Plain Township, said it's become a family tradition to watch "Father of the Bride" with her three daughters — Mallory Compson, 24; Megan Bunnell, 28; and Makenzie Compson, 23. "I still laugh at it," she said of the movie, which she has watched more than 10 times. "I don't get tired of it." Bunnell said it's just something the family does. "I remember growing up and watching it," she said with a smile. "It was always on in the background."
Williams-Paisley lost her voice for two years
Host of the Fox reality television series, "Farmer Wants a Wife," Williams-Paisley has continued to learn from the difficult experience with her mother's dementia and death, and to face obstacles in her life. Her 83-year-old father, Gurney Williams, was also diagnosed with dementia. "The first thing he said was, 'You can tell anyone you want,'" she recalled. He filled out "Five Wishes" for care. "And he decided to absolve us of any guilt. He said, 'Take care of me the way you need to for you.' ... The thing is he's not afraid of it. And that gives me courage." Her dad is a journalist. "And he's approaching this with curiosity," Williams-Paisley said. "He thinks it's fascinating, and that's a way to go, that's a way to approach it." Williams-Paisley also lost the ability to speak for two years due to paralysis in one of her vocal cords. She regained her voice following a three-hour surgery last year. "Trying to find my physical voice, I wound up realizing … my internal voice was paralyzed," she said. "That I was still feeling a lot of guilt about what I wasn't supposed to talk about. "… And in the course of all this work, in the course of this journey, a surprising side benefit, maybe the most important thing is I started healing this relationship with my mom in a way that I never imagined could have happened after her death. But for the first time, I was able to remember her before she got sick." Williams-Paisley's voice was her career. Temporarily losing use of it gave her the opportunity to write, including a script about a road movie involving Alzheimer's disease. "I felt like a ghost for a lot of the time I didn't have my voice," she said. "So I wrote a ghost story — it's funny."
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By Ed Balint - Canton Repository